”How Should We then Live?”
First: the matter penned
down
How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!
Those
more than well-known words from Psalm 133 form the arrowhead of a
quest for some basic life parameters for any group of believers. But
especially for men as such. There appears to be a good reason to
accept the insight that any group of men will react and interact in
fairly recogniceable and universal patterns if left to their own
devices. All
cultural differences aside, males tend to have some basic things in
common wherever they are. I
take note that individually they may be anything but this way
inclined, but as a group they will surely show up some of these
characteristics.
I
have detected a few that might be universal. You will correct me if I
am wrong, I am sure of it.
1. Jockeying for position
within the group.
2. Keeping the face and
standing on their dignity, come what may. ”I
must appear to be in control even when I have lost the plot.”
3.
”Fixitity”. The only real reason to
talk about something is to find a solution to a problem.
4. Don’t rock the boat. Finger in the air, sniff out the wind and sail along. Only live salmon go against the flow of the stream.
5.
Brothers in arms, even in the face of the Father. The
isms of the world are formed by the fatherless against God
6.
Men join clubs today for the same reason they bore clubs in the past:
security in number or collective clout.
7. Programme,
protocol and comittees are the collective armour behind which men
like to hide. “If we name it we must tame it.”
8. By
and large men lack an acceptable language for their emotions. Emotive
language is seen as female prerogative by many. Nobody wants to
appear a sissy..
To a varying degree we may recognize
these more or less common signals as our own or those of our present
affiliations. They surely arer worth pondering. Especially if we want
to become men of God in Christ.
It
all comes down to the effects of what is known as Group dynamics and
has been extensively researched within the field of Psychology. But
there is a massive point of departure from the findings of ordinary
human psychology towards a biblical approach to the issues. Whereas
psychology starts with man in his fallen, post adamic state, biblical
understanding starts with the man redeemed and identified in the last
Adam. For
this distinction I am much beholden to Oswald Chambers and the notes
from his lectures on Biblical Psychology. Essentially
there is a huge chasm between the natural man and the spiritual man.
Whereas the natural man is impervious to any work of the Spirit
except nudging him towards repentance, the Spiritual man nudges
everything merely natural to the sacrificial altar. The study of
‘l’homme animal’ and l’homme spirituel’ leads to vastly
different avenues of thought about man and men.
Interestingly
enough the Bible shows lots of examples from both of these two
object groups. And it is by comparison between the behaviours of
those under sin and those under grace that we might get clues to an
answer to the main question: “How should we then live?”
Ambiguity
In
the above list of points there rests a considerable ambiguity. Each
point has two sides to it. None of them are in themselves necessarily
wrong but they can lead to wrongs if not tempered by the Spirit of
regeneration.
1. Jockeying
for position within the group.
Unless
those who are able to lead stand up in the group and make themselves
known as potential leaders the group may suffer listless and aimless
idiocracy. The group exists then merely as a place to hole up and
rescind all responsibility without any other aim then to be and be
left alone by the group. (Idiocracy
means: “That
which to itself is it’s only reason to exist.”)
Without any positioning the group refrains from direction and purpose
outside of the enjoying life on the basis of the least common
denominator. Leadership comes out of the need for taking stands
within the group so that the group can stand out. But clearly we all
know of groups where some muscle in and turn the group into an
extension of their own ego only. Group cohesion then becomes the
evidence of leadership. Even if all the direction that the incumbent
leader follows is destructive in the long run.
Discuss:
when are ambitions an assett and when are they a hinderance?
2. Keeping the face and
standing on their dignity, come what may. ”I
must appear to be in control even when I have lost the plot.”
Being
a man has cultural overtones from the past and of the present mode of
thought. What seems to define manhood is this apparent need to be in
control, or, less kindly, to seem to be in control.. “Oim al’roit,
mon”. The captain goes down with the ship and pretends all is well
and straightens the cuffs and doffs the right angle to the cap before
the waves crash in over his head. Confessing weakness comes hard. “My
ship sank but at least I went down with dignity!”
Discuss:
what lies behind this ramrod backbone attitude and how can we come
off it? Image: vertebrate man compared to invertebrate Lobster.
3.
”Fixitity”. The only real reason to
talk about something is to find a solution to a problem.
The
three friends of Job illustrate two very powerful positions. First,
on hearing about Job’s sorrow and suffering they join him and sit
with him “for seven days and seven nights”. In sympathy and
comiseration, in trying to enter into the factual suffering of Job?
So far so good. But then, but then comes the inevitable and commonly
male reaction when faced with a problem, especially
when
it is not our own: find the fault and fix it. (If
it isn’t broken, then don’t fix it. Is
it a reflection of our own brokenness that we always suss out what is
broken else where?)
But
men will not give up looking for something to fix. Is that an
expression of being God’s co-creators or is it something else? The
next 37 chapters in Job show them suggesting cause and effect and
solutions. Job battles not only against his total bereavement, but
also against “the sound or unsound advice” of his
“Friends”.
Discuss: is mending the world our task? Is
it not our primary task? Or is it us contuing to “do better than
God” and acting as providences for our fellow men so as to be seen
as capable and able? The thin line of self deification by our skills.
4. Don’t rock the boat. Finger in the air, sniff out the wind and sail along. “Only live salmon go against the flow of the stream.”
The dynamics of belonging to a
group, to be connected, to have an identity that is recognized by our
peers cause us to always be aware of what is required in order to
maintain our position. When a man is skilled in group dynamic
behaviour he will never voice any opinion that is beside the
mainstream of the group consensus. Strong individuals acting with
little concern for the group hegemony make the group insecure. Group
dynamics shout at us: keep in line, don’t upset the apple cart.
What does that say about the group as such? And what happens to those
who refuse to play tag in the expected manner?
Discuss:
How do these patterns show up in the Christian organisation called
Church?
5. Brothers in arms, even in the face of the Father. The isms of the world are formed by the fatherless against God.
“Let
us make for ourselves a name”. At the tower of Babel in Genesis 11
the first expression of the collective disregard for God the Father
is seen in the brotherhood of rebellion.
“We must make for ourselves a name so that we are not scattered
across the face of the Earth.”
The command of God was the opposite: multiply and fill the earth.
But sin came in and instead of moving Godward the brotherhood moves
inward to itself. The primary victims of their collective buddines
are women and children. Every ‘ism’ in the world has this
brotherhood of man at it’s core and is costing us all dearly. Men
without respect and submission for someone greater than themselves
are the terror of the earth.
Discuss!
6.
Men join clubs today for the same reason they bore clubs in the past:
security in number or collective clout.
The
nonconformist man poses a threat to his environment. Hence the need
to conform to certain interests has proliferated across the world.
Millions of different ‘clubbing’ activities suck men into their
folds. Safety, imagined or real, is in numbers and each cause behind
each club justifies itself by it’s own reasoning. It rarely invites
outsider’s opinions about it. Whole religions are created by this
inate drive to be part of a mass, separating personal responibility
to the group and whatever dynamises, energizes and motivates the
group. A study of the fanclubs of Soccer teams gives you lots of food
for thought along those lines. But are churches exempt from those
snares? Wether
political, religious, philosophical or financial, the clubs are the
essence of conformity for conformity’s sake.
Discuss:
How safe am I in Church, and what am I safe from?
7.
Programme, protocol and comittees are the collective armour behind
which men like to hide. “If we name it we must tame it.”
Looking
at our christian organisations we see that they have one dominant
common denominator. Programme
and Protocol sustained by various Comittees.
PPP is Preacher, Pulpit, Program and those three are maintained and
safeguarded by PPC, Programme Protocol and Comittees. If it can be
named, it must be tamed. So all activity must have constitutions,
meetings, voting, officially appointed functionaries, minutes, book
keeping and a thousand other operatives for the organisation
to work properly. Incidentally
that
is entrirely in keeping with the world wround us, and
a total compliance with the values and rulings of the leadership of
the nation. God does not come into this at all.
But
is has virtually no resemblance to what the Word of God describes as
the Living body of Christ.
Discuss:
Why is it that the Church which is supposed to be the fellowship of
those who are free in the Spirit appear so bound in and by the norms
of the flesh. Why is it that those who by faith have eternal life are
so tied down to the protocols of time? (When
the clock strikes 12, the divine service
meeting is over. Basta! Now
God, we have given you 90 minutes, that is all you get.)
8.
By and large men lack an acceptable language for their emotions.
Emotive language is seen as female prerogative by many. Nobody wants
to appear a sissy..
There
used to be this caricature of the true Brittish gentleman. The stiff
upper lip. The
ramrod straight back. The unclouded eye, the iron self control, the
“we stand until we fall”.
The man in absolute control of his emotions. Never leaking any
personal feeling whilst on duty. Never sharing any real deep personal
emotion unless sanctioned by the crowd, and only while in that
crowd.
“Get a grip on
yersel’”
is the cry in face of male emotions all too often. Which leads to men
simply not sharing things of a deep emtional content, and if they do
then the rest of the group does not know what to do about it, or
even, often where to fix their gaze in the room where such behaviour
is expressed. “Response
along the lines of evangelical platitudes
or silence.”
I
said:
there used to be. Is that entirely true? Is it merely a bygone trait
of no importance for our self understanding today? Surely
modern contemporary
man is free from all that and we are dealing with a totally new kind
of liberated human. Aye?
The
embarrasing thing about Jesus Christ is that he is not ‘British’
(in
that sense)
in one
ounce of his humanity. He is anything but stiff-upper-lipped. This is
a man who
in
every fiber is
in tune with
his emotion but without any sign of vapid mushiness or abusing his
sentimental expressions to make others do what they would not
otherwise
be
cajoled to do.
The genuine character of His emotional responses to the real calamity
of life in the fallen world is redolent with hints that men of God
are no less so if and when they share and show what they truly feel.
The
language of emotions is by and large owned
by the
women among us. Many of them feel that men lack emotions because they
do not talk about them. But many men cannot identify their feelings
within
the framework of female language about them.
The truth is more in this area: women
talk of their emotions. And
they can talk endlessly about these emotions
and never want a solution to what causes
them. Men
express themselves
in different ways. Women frequently
lack the decoder to understand the message that
man is
in
his very being.
If
you try to read a book by it’s cover alone you will not profit.
The
regaining of a
valid
emotional
language
for
men, giving
them a redeemed expression for their reclaimed soul, and
on their own terms seems long over due in my estimate. Seeing
the need for it has only taken some 50 plus years for me.
It
can be hoped that in future men will be more open with their feelings
without fear
of
being branded ‘sissy’, weak or effeminate. No body would have
dared pin those epitets on Jesus Christ.
Discuss:
Are
emotional responses dangerous and
to be avoided?
Is enthusiasm
the enemy of the faith? Is
an emotional appeal enough to bring about repentance and saving
faith? Is love a feeling or a chosen attitude leading to agape love
in action?
Second: the matter as seen in the Word of God
“All
scripture is God breathed / inspired
by God and
profitable for teaching,
for
reproof, for correction,
and training in righteousness. That
the
man of God may be adequate,
equipped for every good work.”
2
Tim 3:16
“Everything
written beforetime was written for our instruction, for
us, upon whom the end of the ages have come.”
Is
it not our aim to be men of God? If it is not then this is where we
depart from one another. Anything that follows in this monograph is
spoken on the basis of the redemptive work of Christ in men as men.
The psychology of redemption is utterly other than the psychology of
the unregenerated man. Nothing by either Jung, Adler, Freud, Buber,
Fromm or May or any of a thousand other psychiatrists, psychoanalysts
or psychologists has any bearing on the redeemed man because the core
of man is not his fallen
soul, which is what these men have studied, but his reborn
Spirit. And without the Spirit of God in man, man is a mere physical
shell bound by a diseased soul and
destined for an eternal displacement
away from his Maker
without the essential “Ha Ruach Elohim” (Spirit of God in
hebrew). If
not born again no man or woman shall see the kingdom of God.
To
establish the basis for all that follows we need a close look at 1
Corinthians 2:6-16
Yet
we do speak wisdom among those who are mature; a wisdom,
however, not of this age
nor of the rulers of this age, who are passing away; but
we speak God’s wisdom in a mystery, the hidden wisdom which
God predestined before the ages to our glory; the
wisdom which none of the rulers of this age has understood;
for if they had understood it they would not have crucified the
Lord of glory; but just as it is written,
“Things which
eye has not seen and ear has not heard,
And which have
not entered the heart of man,
All that God has prepared for
those who love Him.”
For to us God revealed them through the Spirit; for the Spirit searches all things, even the depths of God. For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the spirit of the man which is in him? Even so the thoughts of God no one knows except the Spirit of God. Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may know the things freely given to us by God, which things we also speak, not in words taught by human wisdom, but in those taught by the Spirit, combining spiritual thoughts with spiritual words.
But a natural man does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually appraised. But he who is spiritual appraises all things, yet he himself is appraised by no one. For who has known the mind of the Lord, that he will instruct Him? But we have the mind of Christ.
And
again the witness of Truth
Now
there was a man of the Pharisees, named Nicodemus, a ruler
of the Jews; this man came to Jesus by night and said to Him,
“Rabbi, we know that You have come from God as a teacher;
for no one can do these signs that You do unless God is
with him.”Jesus answered and said to him, “Truly,
truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot
see the kingdom of God.”
Nicodemus said to Him, “How can a man be born when he is old? He cannot enter a second time into his mother’s womb and be born, can he?”Jesus answered, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit he cannot enter into the kingdom of God. That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. Do not be amazed that I said to you, ‘You must be born again.’ The wind blows where it wishes and you hear the sound of it, but do not know where it comes from and where it is going; so is everyone who is born of the Spirit.”
Discuss:
how essential is the distinction
between those born of the Holy Spirit and common man?
The
Plumbline
The
prophetic vision of a plumbline and what it accomplishes is seen in
the Prophet Amos ch 7:7-9
“Thus
He showed me, and behold, the Lord was standing by a vertical
wall with a plumb line in His hand. The Lord said to
me, “What do you see, Amos?” And I said, “A plumb line.” Then
the Lord said,
“Behold I am about to put a plumb line
In the midst of
My people Israel.
I will spare them no longer.
“The high
places of Isaac will be desolated
And the sanctuaries of
Israel laid waste.
Then I will rise up against the house of
Jeroboam with the sword.”
If
seen in the light of a passage in 2 Corinthians 10:12-17 one can draw
a conclusion of great importance for our quest towards christian
maleness. The body of common men compete only with themselves
comparing themselves only to other men of their own ilk. Their common
consent disapproves of any ultimate plumbline for one reason only:
all
would be seen to be in need of restoration, realignement, deliverance
and restoration. The comfort of the brotherhoods excludes any arbiter
from the outside of the ’clan’.
I refer to the
enormity of the statement made by Pontus Pilate in John 19:5 ”Jesus
therefore came out, wearing a crown of thorns and the purple robe.
Pilate said to them, ”Behold the man!”.. and they shouted,
”crucify, crucify..”
Whatever else you do, do not embarrass men by showing them THE MAN.
Remove the plumbline and leave us to selfadjust within the framework
of our selfindulgent sinfulness. But do not, repeat, do not put HIM
in our midst to be the plumbline of what it is His
salvation is meant to do with us.
Paul hints fairly
solidly at the core issue: only using other men as a template is
rather inward looking and frighteningly blinding complacency: ”For
we are not bold to class or compare ourselves with some of those
who commend themselves; but when they measure
themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they
are without understanding. But we will not
boast beyond our measure, but within the measure
of the sphere which God apportioned to us as a measure, to reach even
as far as you. For we are not overextending ourselves, as if we
did not reach to you, for we were the first to come even as far
as you in the gospel of Christ; not
boasting beyond our measure, that is, in other
men’s labors, but with the hope that as your faith grows, we
will be, within our sphere, enlarged even more by you, so
as to preach the gospel even to the regions beyond
you, and not to boast in what has been accomplished in
the sphere of another. But he who boasts is to
boast in the Lord. For it is not he
who commends himself that is approved, but he whom
the Lord commends.”|
When
the men’s breakfast started it was precisely on the strength of
showing us the plumbline of Whom God has put among us, to
see him who is the
arbiter of our own waywardness, showing
up our deviation
from God’s
plumbline, which was
the impetus for the regular meetings. But
merely seeing that
would be most miserable, since we could not find it in ourselves to
change ourselves. Glory be to God, He
”The Man” is
also the Rectifyer of every
”Hamartolos”,
(Greek for misser of
the mark, being a
sinner) That
missing of the mark which is our heritage from father Adam. As
long as we keep Christ outside the fellowship there will be no
plumbline to show us our wretchedness, and neither will there be a
need for salvation.
But once you see the plumbline..
For
a further discussion of these matters I refer here to my book ”Adam
there is a glitch in your figleaf”. Available only as a PDF file at
the present time.
Teddy
Donobauer Sept 15 2020